Trick or Treat...

Richard's friend Andrew

Me and the boys

Richard

Mathieu

Mathieu's friend Tristan with his dad Shawn

It was a good day and a good Halloween night. I went for walk and then lunch with my friend Linda. This evening I went over to my friend Sylvie's, Andrew and Tristan's mom, and gave out candy with her. The weather was so pleasant we were actually sitting outside sipping wine and giving out candy. We even managed to scare a few kids...

It's all good. One day at a time does the trick - I just need to remember that!

That's it for now.

Take good care!

Renée

Give me strength...

I want to run... I want to jump out of my skin... Shop til I drop. Anything to avoid feeling this hollowness inside. I don't want to know that he's not coming back. But, no matter what I do to try to escape or avoid the fact, it remains the truth. So, rather than do anything counterproductive, my therapist suggested I really make an effort to channel my energy into something positive that will help; so tonight I bought us a family membership at a health club. I do have the best of intentions. Let's just hope that after taking every last bit of energy I had to survive the last two and half years, I can find the courage and strength to start over and take care of myself this time so that I can be a better mother and a better person. Just thinking about it has me exhausted... and scared to death!

I'm sure a good night's sleep will do wonders for me. Please send positive vibes my way. I could sure use them.


Take good care!


Renée


P.S. I'll be fine; don't worry!

The cast is OFF!

Yes! folks, the cast came off yesterday... Bad news is Rich cannot return to his activities just yet. The Doc said up to 6 more weeks of physio. We'll see how it goes. We'll take it one day at a time.

The weather was certainly grey today. Luckily I was able to keep busy with the boys activities. Mathieu had a game and a practice, while Rich's team played tonight. It was a successful day for both teams. YEAH!!!!!

I'm hoping tomorrow will be sunny and bright. It might help lift my mood, I feel very lonely... even in a room full of people. What's up with that? Tony always knew how to fill the void and make me feel better; make me feel loved, special. A simple look did the trick. I really miss that and his big hugs.

So off I go to finish the dishes...YUCK! and then to bed as we have an early game tomorrow. Someone do a little sun dance for me, will you?

That's it for now.

Take good care.

Renée

P.S. The helicopter photos should be coming shortly.

Flowery Fall

The weather is just beutiful for the end of October. Flowers are actually still coming up in the middle of fallen leaves. They're the bulbs that my father-in-law planted last spring. We didn't think we'd see any flowers this year as none came out during the summer...

I raked the leaves this afternoon and when I asked Mathieu to help me bag them, he thought it was much more fun to play in them... I'd rather he play with leaves than watch TV, so the leaves have yet to be bagged. I hope it doesn't rain tonight or tomorrow!

I am happy to report that football season, playoffs and all, is officially over. Thank goodness for that. School and hockey will keep us all busy enough. Hopefully, Richard will be on the ice within the next two weeks. He should get his cast off on Friday and maybe some physio.... I can't wait; and, needless to say, neither can he! In the meantime, he is attending practices and games to feel like part of the team.

Thanks to everyone who sent comments. Don't be shy; keep them coming!

That's it for now...

Take good care!

Renée

Surprise! Surprise!

Well, the regular football season is over. Richard's team qualified for the playoffs. But we're still unsure whether or not Richard will get to play... It depends on how long they keep playing. Richard's cast should come off on the 26th and he'll probably have a week or two of physio, so... who knows. The hockey season is in full swing. Richard was drafted by his coach from last year and Mathieu's coach used to work with Tony when Rich was a baby. They both have their best friend on their team, so that'll make it easier. Richard's team lost both games this weekend, while Mathieu's team won theirs and he got player of the game.... BRAVO Mathieu!

Thanksgiving was different this year, but we got through it. Greg outdid himself again. Turkey, ham, and all the trimmings, and then some. Everyone was in fine form and the boys really enjoyed going to Ottawa to see their cousins.

Last Tuesday was a PD day for the boys and I had a surprise for them. Back in June or July, Tony's boss had spoken to me about taking the boys up on the company's helicopter. Of course, the batteries in my camera were dead, so I didn't get any shots with it. However, the pilot let me borrow his and he will be e-mailing me the photos. I will post them eventually, if they're any good. We took a ride over Montreal island and saw a bit of the South Shore. It was really nice! I accompanied the boys and did my best not to squeal (from fright) too much as we turned and were practically sideways; you see, we were wearing mics and earphones and everyone would have heard me loud and clear... the pilot included.

I must say, Tony's employer has been great. I want to thank Denis and Dean for their kindness and thoughtfulness. You are true gentlemen. Merci beaucoup!

Well, the dishes are calling me.

Take good care!

Renée

(p.s. don't be afraid to send your comments - it gets pretty lonely over here!)

My little old lady

Well, the sun is shining and the temperature is above seasonal... There's something for which to be thankful. The boys can be a handful but they are most certainly a blessing.

Yesterday, I was caught off-guard when one of our neighbours from down the street stopped and asked about Tony because he hadn't seen him in a while. I was dumb struck and could only manage to say "He passed away on Father's Day", and waived as I went into the house. I really didn't mean to be rude, but I didn't know what to say. I guess that was bound to happen, and might happen again... Hopefully, I will be stronger next time.

Last weekend, Mathieu insisted on shopping for Halloween costumes. And so we did... He makes a lovely little old lady, doesn't he?

This coming weekend is our Thanksgiving in Canada. It will be another first without Tony, and I'm hoping that the fact that it will not be at our house, as it has been for a number of years now, will make it easier. The boys are looking forward to it.

As you can see, we're doing okay. I still miss him every day and its still surreal that he will never be here again with us physically. He was such a presence... I try to think of what he would tell me right now, and all I can imagine is "we have to keep life as normal as possible for the boys". And so I shall!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Take good care!

Renée