Funny kind of day

It's been a funny kind of day... I woke up to a sunny morning and was quite positive and optimistic, but as the clouds rolled in, my mood got darker... It's probably just lack of sleep. That, or the 12 min. on the eliptical trainer at the gym... Just kidding!

I met with my new personal trainer this morning. Wouldn't you know it, Mary is from Belfast; and her husband is actually from Glengormley (that's where Tony's parents live - I think). That's got to be a sign.

Mathieu has his colonoscopy booked for next week - the 13th. The nurse and I have been playing telephone tag all day. It looks like he will be on clear liquids for 48 hours; my poor baby! We still have to go in for pre-op apparently. So it'll be a busy week. Between the pre-op, the bank, the psychologist, a visit to Hawkesbury, an appointment with my new personal trainer and Richard's PD day on Friday, my agenda is pretty full - and that's not even taking into account the hockey games and practices - or the laundry, groceries, dishes and shopping therapy!

I stopped by the cemetary today and visited Tony's pedastal. I find it difficult to think that that piece of stone is where he is. I just don't feel it! I feel closer to Tony when I look up at the sky... I miss him terribly and trust that he is resting in peace.

Well, enough rambling... That's it for now.

Take good care! And send me some messages... I know you're out there!

Renée

Another nice day...

Sometimes, just taking the time to admire the sun set can bring a smile to your face. When I look at the sky I think of Tony...

That's it for now.

Take good care!

Renée

A quick visit with Dad

Mathieu had a PD day today. Those teachers are so smart. Who'd want to be in a classroom full of kids who've had too little sleep and too much candy? The down side to that, is that the parents are the ones to suffer... Well, I can't complain too much. Mathieu was pretty good, considering.

I had made plans for the day. I figured if we had a specific plan to focus on, things might be a little bit easier. We went to Hawkesbury to have lunch with my Dad. It was short, but sweet... Looking forward to some extra sleep tomorrow morning before I tackle a week's worth of laundry and a very messy house.

TGIF everyone!

That's it for now...

Take good care!

Renée

P.S. I have an appointment with a personal trainer on Monday. Watch out health fanatics, here I come....

Trick or Treat...

Richard's friend Andrew

Me and the boys

Richard

Mathieu

Mathieu's friend Tristan with his dad Shawn

It was a good day and a good Halloween night. I went for walk and then lunch with my friend Linda. This evening I went over to my friend Sylvie's, Andrew and Tristan's mom, and gave out candy with her. The weather was so pleasant we were actually sitting outside sipping wine and giving out candy. We even managed to scare a few kids...

It's all good. One day at a time does the trick - I just need to remember that!

That's it for now.

Take good care!

Renée

Give me strength...

I want to run... I want to jump out of my skin... Shop til I drop. Anything to avoid feeling this hollowness inside. I don't want to know that he's not coming back. But, no matter what I do to try to escape or avoid the fact, it remains the truth. So, rather than do anything counterproductive, my therapist suggested I really make an effort to channel my energy into something positive that will help; so tonight I bought us a family membership at a health club. I do have the best of intentions. Let's just hope that after taking every last bit of energy I had to survive the last two and half years, I can find the courage and strength to start over and take care of myself this time so that I can be a better mother and a better person. Just thinking about it has me exhausted... and scared to death!

I'm sure a good night's sleep will do wonders for me. Please send positive vibes my way. I could sure use them.


Take good care!


Renée


P.S. I'll be fine; don't worry!

The cast is OFF!

Yes! folks, the cast came off yesterday... Bad news is Rich cannot return to his activities just yet. The Doc said up to 6 more weeks of physio. We'll see how it goes. We'll take it one day at a time.

The weather was certainly grey today. Luckily I was able to keep busy with the boys activities. Mathieu had a game and a practice, while Rich's team played tonight. It was a successful day for both teams. YEAH!!!!!

I'm hoping tomorrow will be sunny and bright. It might help lift my mood, I feel very lonely... even in a room full of people. What's up with that? Tony always knew how to fill the void and make me feel better; make me feel loved, special. A simple look did the trick. I really miss that and his big hugs.

So off I go to finish the dishes...YUCK! and then to bed as we have an early game tomorrow. Someone do a little sun dance for me, will you?

That's it for now.

Take good care.

Renée

P.S. The helicopter photos should be coming shortly.

Flowery Fall

The weather is just beutiful for the end of October. Flowers are actually still coming up in the middle of fallen leaves. They're the bulbs that my father-in-law planted last spring. We didn't think we'd see any flowers this year as none came out during the summer...

I raked the leaves this afternoon and when I asked Mathieu to help me bag them, he thought it was much more fun to play in them... I'd rather he play with leaves than watch TV, so the leaves have yet to be bagged. I hope it doesn't rain tonight or tomorrow!

I am happy to report that football season, playoffs and all, is officially over. Thank goodness for that. School and hockey will keep us all busy enough. Hopefully, Richard will be on the ice within the next two weeks. He should get his cast off on Friday and maybe some physio.... I can't wait; and, needless to say, neither can he! In the meantime, he is attending practices and games to feel like part of the team.

Thanks to everyone who sent comments. Don't be shy; keep them coming!

That's it for now...

Take good care!

Renée