Sunday, July 15, 2007

I want the auto-pilot back...

It's not getting easier... and I can't google this to make sense out of it, or anticipate how I will feel in an hour or a day. I actually have to wing it... It can be pure hell at times. I think I like the "automatic pilot" state much better. Also, while having to deal with the bank, the insurance companies and various government agencies does offer some weird type of diversion, it is - quite frankly - very annoying.

The kids went away this weekend; so I had to call in the troops from Ottawa because I couldn't face being alone. Lucky for me... they didn't let me down; as always, they were there for me. We had a pleasant time. We went out for dinner with our good friend Luce; she's always a hoot! Thanks for being there for me.

I just brought out the garbage bins and noticed that some creature has been playing havoc with my lawn in the back yard. I'm not sure what kind of creature... Squirrel, ground hog, raccoon, skunk... It's silly things like this that make me miss Tony even more. He would know just what to do. I'm just afraid there might be a skunk hidding in there. Well, I will observe it until tomorrow and then have a closer look. Maybe with the help of a neighbour - as reinforcement. That's if Mathieu doesn't notice it first... God help us!

Well that's it for now. Take good care.


P.S. MAUREEN - My thoughts are with you.


linda said...

Hi Renee,

Just wanted to let you know I'm around if you need me. The title of this blog says it all "one day at a time". As much as the auto-pilot works for a while, there's no easy way around this. You have shown your strength before in the last few years and you will find it and lean on it again for the next few years, cuz it will be slow. I send you lots of love.


Joanne Trépanier said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanne Trépanier said...

Renée, Richard & Mathieu:

Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking about you and hope that you are finding comfort in each other.
We are there for you if you need to talk, cry or scream or anything else We are only a phone call and car ride away.
Take good care of yourself and each other.
Joanne, Bob & Allie

nikki said...

Hi Renee, Richard and Mathieu, you are in my thoughts and prayers every day. I got one of Tony's memorial cards, he looked pretty good and relaxed in the photo so thats how i will remember him. All Hugo and I can do is to send you lots of love and hugs. God Bless from Nikki and Hugo McCullough in Ireland

Anonymous said...

Bonjour Renée,

Vous êtes souvent dans mes pensées. Je suis contente que tu partage tes sentiments, cela apaise mon esprit de voir comment vous allez et en même temps c'est bon pour ton état d'âme. Je ne peux imaginer ce que tu vie, comme tu le dit si bien UN JOUR A LA FOIS.. Un pas à la fois vers la guérisons, ne lâche pas. Je t'envoie un gros camion de courage et un gros paquet d'énergie, pour que tu puisse faire le plein (I'm pretty sure you need it).
You take care of each other, thank God you have each other.


Sandee said...

I think about you and the boys daily & pray that you get strength to get ypu through this difficelut time *warm hugs*

Anonymous said...

Hi Renee

So glad you are keeping the blog going so we can let you, Richard & Mathieu know that we are thinking about you.

Take care
Lots of love
Tom & Amy