Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I'm still here...

Well, I'm still here; and it's not any easier than it was a week ago. In fact, I think it's getting more difficult. I look at Tony's photo and still feel like he'll be coming home anytime now...

When he was sick, the disease invaded our lives in a more gradual way; he looked so healthy for so long. I think I managed pretty well and almost normally throughout most of it. Right up until the last month, we had hope that he might outlive the statistics. Death, however, is more like being hit by a Mac truck. It's like I was in an accident and have been heavily sedated for over a month (which I haven't - by the way). Now, it feels like I'm gradually being weaned off the drugs and I'm starting to feel everything. It really sucks. Don't worry... I am seeking professional help.

To keep my mind occupied, I am taking care of business: the bank, the insurance companies, the government agencies, the notary, accountants, etc. Other than that, we're dogsitting Pheobe and Mathieu has six soccer games this week (that includes three tournament games on Saturday). Let's hope it doesn't rain all weekend!
That's it for now. Take good care everyone.
P.S. I think those holes in the backyard were made by a groundhound. There used to be a tree there and it was after whatever was left of the roots... I think!


Anonymous said...

Hi Renee

What a lovely photo of you and Tony. I printed it off and put it in a little frame.

Good luck to Mathieu in his soccer matches. It will be a busy week.

I hope that the animal has now left your garden.

All our love and thoughts to you and the boys.
Take care
Tom & Amy

Amanda Comeau said...

Hi Renee,

I still check your blog regularly to see how you're all doing. I don't know what you're going through...I can only imagine it. Like you have said, this unfortunately will be a very long healing process and something you will have to live on your own. It sounds like you have a tremendous support system of family and friends who will walk beside you through this. My thoughts are with you and the boys.

Hang in there!

Amanda Comeau

sue said...

Hi Renee, you are in my prayers everyday. I pray that your pain lessens as time goes on. I also have stage iv CC. It is a hard challage as you know. I lost my brother in law at the age of 42 a couple years ago of the same thing. I hope they find a cure soon. It saddens me so to see young people like you suffering. Sue

nikki said...

Dear Renee Richard and Mathieu i just want you to know that i think about you guys all the time and check the blog every day, if i dont see it first then mum and dad call me to let me know, they also are thinking and praying for you and your sons. Tony,s passing did seem to come as a shock in the end as we all had hope that he could fight it. I dont know what your going through but i send you all my best wishes for the future, take care and God bless from Nikki and Hugo McCullough in Ireland.

Anonymous said...

hi ((((Renee)))))....I have been reading this blog for awhile now but never left a comment....until now....
Just wanted you to know that things will get better in time and with the help of our lord....although I lost my oldest son almost 14 yrs. ago the pain is still there....not as sharp but might have a bumpy road ahead of you but you WILL conquer it....if ever you need/want to "talk"just email me.....hugs,Karen