I want to run... I want to jump out of my skin... Shop til I drop. Anything to avoid feeling this hollowness inside. I don't want to know that he's not coming back. But, no matter what I do to try to escape or avoid the fact, it remains the truth. So, rather than do anything counterproductive, my therapist suggested I really make an effort to channel my energy into something positive that will help; so tonight I bought us a family membership at a health club. I do have the best of intentions. Let's just hope that after taking every last bit of energy I had to survive the last two and half years, I can find the courage and strength to start over and take care of myself this time so that I can be a better mother and a better person. Just thinking about it has me exhausted... and scared to death!
I'm sure a good night's sleep will do wonders for me. Please send positive vibes my way. I could sure use them.
Take good care!
P.S. I'll be fine; don't worry!