Sunday, June 17, 2007

Gone but not forgotten

I'm in a daze... It has been a very long and difficult day marking the end of a long and courageous battle fought by a man like no other, my husband, Richard Anthony (Tony) Rafter. Tony died peacefully in his sleep by my side this morning. He did it his way. In his home, surrounded by his loved ones.

I apologize to all the friends and family that we weren't able to contact directly. I realize that this blog might not be the best way to learn of Tony's passing.
I have reproduced below the obituary that will appear in the Montreal Gazette tomorrow.
RAFTER, Richard Anthony (Tony)
Passed away peacefully in his sleep after a courageous battle at the age of 41. Beloved husband of Renée Desjardins-Rafter, cherished father of Richard and Mathieu, loving son of Richard and Jean, wonderful brother to Michele (Peter) and Sara (deceased), dear son-in-law of Jean Desjardins and Suzanne Montpetit, close brother-in-law to Pierre (Marie-France), Nicole (Greg), and Michelle, and much loved uncle to Luke and Sara, Benoit, Scott and Annie. Sadly missed by all his family and friends in Canada and Northern Ireland.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Hope and Cope and to the Jewish General Hospital Foundation.

The visitation will be held at Rideau Funeral Home, 4275, boul. des Sources, D.D.O., Qc (514) 685-3344 on Wednesday, June 20th, 2007 from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Memorial Service will also be held at Rideau on Thursday, June 21st, 2007 at 3:00 p.m. with visitation commencing at 2:30 p.m.

We will be organizing a reception, probably in Dorval, after the Memorial Service. Details will follow.
Take good care!



Amanda Comeau said...

Renee, my heart breaks for you and your boys. It just doesn't seem fair. You all faught this battle with Tony so courageously. There are no heart goes out to you all. Take comfort that Tony is no longer in any pain and can now rest. Please know that you are all in my thoughts. Stay strong.

Anonymous said...

Allo cousine,

Vous êtes tous courageux. Nous vous offrons nos sympathies à toute la famille. Je vais vous voir mercredi et jeudi. Vous êtes dans nos pensées et dans notre coeur.

Brigitte, Charles, Jean-Daniel et Camille

Anonymous said...

Bonjour Renée,
Je suis de tout coeur avec toi et les enfants. Les mots me manquent,
vous êtes dans mes pensées.


Anonymous said...

My dearest Renee,
If there were any words that I could say that would ease your pain, I would say them. You are one of the strongest women I know, and you should be extremely proud of how you have handled all that life has thrown at you in the past couple of years.
Tony is at peace now, that is one bit of solice that you can take from this terrible loss.
I wish I could be there with you, we will be in Gatineau at our TFT during the service. I will call you next week, and if you are ready, I would love to see you.
My love and strength to you and your boys.

Joanne Trépanier said...

Renée, Richard and Mathieu:
No words can express how we feel at this time. Out thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time.
Joanne, Bob & Allie

Anonymous said...

Renée, Richard & Mathieu

Our love and thoughts are with you at this sad time. Also to Michelle and all the family in Canada.

God Bless

Eileen, Alec and Family

Anonymous said...

My Deepest Sympathy to you and your boys. Please know that you are all in my thoughts.


Anonymous said...

Dear Renee,
I am one of Michele's colleagues in Northern Ireland, I would like to express my deep sadness to you, your boys, Michele and all of the family. I have gotten to know Michele well over the past while and in that time I have heard stories and seen photos of her much loved brother tony and sister in law renee and nephews in Canada whom she loves very much. So I feel I know you all well...Please accept my sincerest condolences to you all at this painful time

Fiona Kane

Anonymous said...

Dear Renee

We send all our love and prayers to you, Richard, Mathieu, Jean, Richard and Michelle.

Tom,Amy & family

Anonymous said...

Chers Renée, Mathieu et Richard,
Nous sommes tres attristés d'apprendre que Richard nous a quitté. Vous etes l'image du courage, toute la famille! Nous vous offrons nos plus sinceres sympathies. Vous etes dans nos prieres et nos coeurs.
Nicole et John

Anonymous said...

Hi Renee,

For whatever reason (perhaps due to our similar ages and family situation), Richard held a special place in my heart and I would always hope for a miracle whenever I logged on to your site. Reading your blog over the past few months, has reminded me to start appreciating the everyday/little things in life, and to stop concentrating on the negatives. I obviously won't be able to attend the visitation (living in Sarnia), but I will be thinking of you and your family, and of course Richard.

Dan Adams

Anonymous said...

Auntie renee,
my heart goes to you and the boys in your hour of need, its just not fair that bad things happen to good people,remember uncle tony for the first 38 years of his life and not these long and laborious struggling days,and that he is now in a better place.
my most sincere condolences

grace said...

you & your family will be in my prayers. i wish you a sense of peace.

Anonymous said...

Dear Rafters,

We are so sorry to hear about Tony's passing. He'll always have a special place in this family's heart as our favorite soccer coach. Both Karley and J.J. used to love the fact that Tony would let them "soak the coach" after the games - and he always got wet with a huge grin on his face. He will be missed a lot in the community.

Denise, Jimmy, J.J. and Karley

Anonymous said...

Renee,Richard and Mathieu.
Words can't express how sad we are over the passing of Richard.
Our thought and prayers are with you.

Sheila,Brian and family.

Anonymous said...

Bonjour Renée:
Je suis de tout coeur avec toi et ta famille. J'ai fermé les yeux à ma jeune soeur il y a 10 ans et depuis mon coeur saigne. Jadmire ton courage et ta noblesse. Je ne pourrrais malheureusement pas venir au service mais mon coeur est avec vous.
Avec ma plus sincère sympathie,
Martine hubert ( collègue de travail)