Tony sent me a nice surprise for our 14th wedding anniversary... A snow storm! I got to spend the day with my boys rather than alone! It was a blessing in disguise. Also, last night, as I cried myself to sleep I was reading one of the books I bought to help me deal with my grief and came across an interesting passage. It read: "...we need to stay open and present in the face of grief and allow the emptiness to simply be. If we fill it with our pain, there won't be room for anything else." It's a tall order but it seems to make sense somehow.
I realized today that Richard needs some kind of routine and stability; a home cooked meal every now and then. He was thankful when I actually took out a recipe book and made an alfredo sauce for his pasta. I realized then that I really have to make an effort to be more like I used to be... even though that might require quite a bit of energy and effort. As for Mathieu, I have to keep at him to pick up after himself, something that I haven't really been doing and that is really getting his older brother upset. Rich is just like his Dad. He likes things just a certain way... We'll get it right eventually. I'm determined!
Back to the gym tomorrow. I had to cancel my session today because of the snow. Hopefully, my trainer won't be too tough on me!
That's it for now.
Take good care!